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Niyi Eboda

Process Reveals Value: Embracing the Journey to True Greatness
Process Reveals Value: Embracing the Journey to True Greatness
March 9, 2017

Marriage is one of the most significant commitments anyone can make. It’s a union that, when approached correctly, can be a source of immense joy, growth, and fulfillment. But a thriving, “happily forever” marriage doesn’t just happen; it requires intentional preparation, clear values, and the right mindset. If you’re considering this journey, here are ten fundamental principles to write on your heart:

1. Respect the Process

Many people rush into marriage, focusing only on the “who” and the “why” of their union. However, the “how” is just as critical. The process—how you build your relationship, how you handle challenges, and how you prepare emotionally and spiritually—is the foundation of a lasting marriage. Take the time to ensure the process is deliberate, respectful, and aligned with God’s principles. Great outcomes require great preparation.

2. Anchor Your Choice on God’s Plan

Your life has a divine purpose, and the person you choose to marry should complement God’s vision for you. A marriage built outside of God’s blueprint is like a house built on sand—unstable and unsustainable. Seek His guidance early and often, trusting that His plan is always perfect.

3. Know Who You Are

Your sense of identity profoundly influences your choices. A man with a kingly mindset will naturally choose a queen—a partner who shares his values, vision, and dignity. Conversely, someone with a limited or negative self-image may settle for less than they deserve. Before committing to anyone, invest in understanding your worth and embracing your God-given identity.


4. Prioritize Your Relationship with God

No human relationship can fill the void meant for God. If your soul feels incomplete or restless, turn to Him first. A strong spiritual foundation equips you to build healthy relationships with others. Without this anchor, even the best of relationships will struggle to weather life’s storms.

5. Honour God Above All

No one, no matter how significant, should ever replace God in your life. Honour Him first and foremost, and everything else will fall into place. When your priorities are aligned with Him, He brings clarity and peace to your decisions, including those related to marriage.

6. Understand Your Worth

A person who doesn’t recognize their own worth will struggle to appreciate yours. The way people treat others reflects their understanding of value. Choose someone who values and respects you—not just for what you bring to the table, but for who you are.

7. Beware of One-Sided Relationships

Healthy relationships are reciprocal. If one person is always giving and the other is only taking, imbalance sets in, leading to frustration and burnout. True partnerships involve mutual support, shared responsibilities, and equal investment.


8. Guard Against External Influences

The voices of friends, family, and even well-meaning mentors can sometimes cloud your judgment. While their input can be valuable, the ultimate decision about your marital life must align with God’s will. Tune out the noise, listen to His voice, and trust His guidance.

9. Embrace Forgiveness as a Lifestyle

No relationship is without conflict. What sets successful marriages apart is the ability of both partners to forgive freely and consistently. Holding onto grudges poisons relationships, while forgiveness fosters healing, growth, and renewed intimacy.

10. Value Leadership Rooted in God

The safety and success of a relationship often rest on the man’s ability to hear and obey God. Leadership in marriage isn’t about control; it’s about service, sacrifice, and spiritual responsibility. Look for someone who prioritizes their relationship with God above all else.

Looking Toward Tomorrow

Marriage isn’t just about today’s happiness; it’s about building a legacy for tomorrow. Decisions made with the future in mind—financial planning, family goals, spiritual growth—ensure that your union is not only joyful but also enduring. Remember, it takes a team to build a dream. Cultivate the “let us” spirit, where both partners contribute to the shared vision.

Marriage is a beautiful gift, but its true value shines when it is approached with intentionality, humility, and faith. As you prepare for this incredible journey, remember that the process isn’t a hurdle—it’s a refining fire. Embrace it, and you’ll discover the immeasurable joy of an Edenic marriage.

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